Getting Clean and Sober

I've stopped drinking entirely. All that's left to quit now is cigarettes and marijuana. For those wondering, no; I didn't incriminate myself just there. Marijuana is completely legal in Alaska. BUT, it can make you lazy and stupid, so I have to knock it off. 

For now though, I'm going after the big one: Cigarettes. Those are going to be the hardest for me to quit, but fortunately I've come prepared. I have a prescription for a smoking cessation aid; I forget the name of it. Got it quite a while ago, and I have been saving it for when I'm sure I really want to quit. 

The instructions are to take one pill a day for three days, then after the three days to take one pill twice a day from there on out. The process takes a total of one week for the drug to truly take effect. Supposedly, in exactly seven days the pills will have essentially destroyed any desire or interest in me to pick up a cigarette. For a lot of folks it seems almost like magic haha. We shall see. 

....Heck of a Christmas Miracle though. Even better if it takes away any desire for weed too, then I'd quit that on the same day as well. It may be a little hard the first couple days, but it sounds like it'll be a lot easier than all my other attempts. By New Years Day the cravings should be diminished enough that I can say that I am completely stone-cold clean and sober. It HAS to happen. 


--204

I'm taking my second pill in about 19 minutes. It's a little late; the last one was taken at 8:00 AM yesterday; today's will be at 3:00 PM. 

Also going to try getting around to deep cleaning my room today, focusing on picking up all the cigarette butts and beer bottles and other paraphernalia; make my room look like some washed up junkie DOESN'T actually live in it. Look good, feel good, perform good. Might go for a run down to the river today too; the temperature has gone up to minus 10 degrees below zero and I want to take advantage of the warm weather before it become 50 or 60 below again. Hate running when it hurts to breathe and freezes the snot inside my head lol; so cold here sometimes that your pee freezes before it even touches the ground. Like you're a steam machine, haha. 


--204

Day 3. Took my pill this morning at eight. It's almost four in the evening now. I've smoked maybe half a pack of cigarettes. That was kind of surprising. Once or twice I caught myself forgetting to light up a cigarette and continue focusing on what I'm doing instead of smoking. Doesn't feel like I need to get to it right away. 

Today was the last day for take one pill by mouth once a day. Tomorrow I have to start taking two pills a day. I'll shoot for eight o'clock in the morning and eight o'clock at night. Keep that up for a few days and see how easy it'll be to quit everything altogether on Christmas; the minimum time for being on the pills is one week, but doc said I could still take the pills after that initial week to help further fight the craving through the withdrawal. 

I really got a feeling that this is finally the time that I get it right.


--204

Day 4.

Taking the first pill now; it's seven in the morning though; not eight. My circadian rhythm is out of whack with the daylight changes; on a backwards schedule so I'm headed to bed. I should be awake well before seven o'clock tonight though to take the second pill for the day; usually don't sleep real long.

--204

This is a worthwhile battle.

Nicotine and Alcohol are villains that have destroyed more families, taken more lives, and walked away… more than any serial killer, one can name. They are phantoms who choose to attack your mind by soothing you. They ravage your body as payment for their service – their service is dark and far from cheap.

To fight them physically is near impossible, because they control armies on the battlefield of Willpower.

In fact, this is the land that is held most valuable to them, and so, they fight ‘tooth-and-nail’ to control that area, which is YOU. Nicotine and Alcohol will use ANY means possible to own the real estate in your life.

I have known victors and I have hugged victims… each of their fights were personal and intimate; for they were always battles involving the soul.

Is there a secret to victory? I truly don’t know, but each and every person that has the guts to choose to engage in this conflict, whether win or lose, I salute them.

This IS a worthwhile battle.

Heroes aren’t made during good times!

-Omen

Thanks; no pressure haha. I've tried and failed multiple times. Second pill is coming up in about three and a half hours. Started coughing up phlegm a couple times, and cigarettes seem to be just starting to lose their appeal; caught myself actually thinking one tasted nasty. Feel more congested when I smoke now too; that's been kinda forcing me to cut back, which would explain the phlegm; every other time I started cutting way back or quit for a couple days I'd start coughing all the gunk up as my lungs or whatever try to clear themselves out. The human body begins to repair itself as soon as you quit smoking. On Christmas I'll be sure to post up a flow chart of everything that happens after quitting smoking; it'll serve as extra motivation/inspiration for me too; like a reaffirmation. My health has totally gone in the crapper. Part of the reason I first started considering using weapons in the first place was because I wasn't confident in my health and energy levels to be able to be confident in my ability to hold my own against the forces of evil without any kind of equalizer....and that's just not "super" at all haha.  Superheroes shouldn't need any weapons in my personal opinion. 

--204

Just took the second pill of the day a few minutes ago. I was two minutes late but that's okay. I have a little bit of OCD when it comes to times and schedules.

Three days remain before I put down the cigarettes. Possibly the marijuana too, if not though, that one's going to be put down on New Year's Eve.

Took the first pill of the day. Next one in 12 hours.

Keep fighting the good fight

Will do.

Taking the second pill of the day in approximately one half hour.

Just took the second pill of the day. Seven o'clock on the dot.

DAY 6

I took the first pill at exactly seven o'clock this morning, but the Wi-Fi was malfunctioning, so I was unable to log on and make a post about it here. It's currently 4:40 PM; approximately three hours until the second pill of the day. 

Tomorrow is the last day, and then I'm putting the cigarettes now. 

From the first day that I started taking the pills, until now, I have noticed a shift in my willingness to quit. At the start, I was skeptical and thought it would be excrutiatingly hard. But now it seems a lot more do-able, and even enjoyable. I've forgotten about smoking a few times already, coughing a bit more than I did, and cigarettes are starting to taste nastier than before, so it should be relatively easy compared to my last attempts to quit. 


--204

You will be saving a lot more when you kick the cigarette habit I have faith in you

Sounds good.

Thanks guys.  

I don't think I've smoked even half a pack of cigarettes today. A couple weeks ago or so it was like two packs a day. Been pretty busy with the festivities as well; we let the kids open presents today and watched a bunch of old home videos. Just finished up and the kids are all tuckered out now haha.  

Next pill is in approximately 34 minutes.

--204

Just took the second pill of the day. Seven o'clock on the dot. 
End of Day 6.

Dang it! I was two hours late for my morning pill; took it at 9:02 AM. Totally spaced it. I'll be taking the second pill at 9:00 PM tonight. 

Tonight I'm throwing out all my paraphernalia; before midnight. I'm going ahead and quitting marijuana today too; I feel I'm up for it. I think it's really going to work this time.

Just took the second pill of the day. 9:00 PM on the dot. 

Also, slightly off topic, I was able to stay awake all day today after staying up all night last night, and not sleeping the day before that, so my circadian rhythm should be set back to normal tonight. Yay.

No cigarettes when I wake up though. Here I go. 


--204

Dang it. Slipped up. Smoked a couple cigarettes. 

Forgot to take my first pill this morning. Won't miss the second pill at 8:00 PM. 

Setting the date for quitting again to New Years Eve. 

I did notice however that I was able to go without longer than normal, so that's good.

One of the things I had to learn when trying to change things about myself was that there was no such thing as 'getting there', and it would always be in at least some small way a battle. There are hard days following weeks of not even feeling temptation, when it just hits you, and you're the only one who can figure out how you'll deal with that. I'm proud of you for doing this. I've heard horrible things about withdrawal symptoms.

Thanks. Forgot to take my evening pill; ended up taking it at midnight, so I'm trying to keep myself awake until noon to take the second one, and if I can, stay up all day so that I can get to sleep by midnight, taking the second pill at 11:00 PM to start working it back towards a normal schedule. And yep, it's gonna be hard. Thinking though that it'll be easier....at some point. Working on a plan of action to set up a checks-and-balances system of sorts to keep me from screwing up lol.

Couldn't stay awake yesterday to take my 11 o'clock pill. I missed my evening pill too. *bangs head on wall*

Taking a pill in approximately ten minutes at 8:00 PM, and I'm going to leave instructions with mom to wake me up no matter what in time to take the 8:00 AM pill; I don't care if she has to pour a bucket of freezing marbles into my sheets to get me out lol. (Old trick from when my sister and I were younger haha; less messy than freezing water.)


--204

Just took the pill. Right on time.