204's Ethics Training Log

Can't wait for civilian spacecraft to become available; always most satisfying to see these things for yourself. Lots of satelite images of the structures though which were rendered into a three dimensional model by using the shadows cast by the structures as a sort of reference. There's a smoke stack on the moon that's like 30 feet tall, and a bunch of obelisk structures in a group that are even taller. Any moderate astronomer knows that the moon is constantly peppered by craters due to the lack of atmosphere. So how the hell did these structures remain standing? It's just a question. The facts and research are there for those who want to find the answers, not just assume otherwise because it's more convenient. It's okay to fear the unknown, but don't let that fear blind you to trying to find the truth. It's more comfortable to stick to things which are readily explainable.

Astronauts see light flashes when they are in space. It's radiation affecting the optic nerves.

Recipe for Undeniable Truth:
1/2 fact
imagination
selective litterature
more imagination
persistence

Be careful when you cut the fact, so you only get the most useful part of it and nothing more. If you get it wrong, you screw up the enire truth. Then you pull a crazy hypothesis out your ass, call it a theory, hold on to it, find litterature to support it (you only need the parts fitting your hypothesis). Don't worry if you it's hard to understand, that's what imagination is for. Then you belive it like you life depends on it. Now share it on the internet so more people can enjoy your Undeniable Truth.


Sceptics will try to destroy your reseach with their so-called facts, but they lie. Deny them, get emotional, ridicule them, give the target audience a good show. You are absolutly certian, and that's all they need to see. Certain people are always right!

...Nevermind, lol. Just thought it's interesting and worth a look.

Back on topic. 

I was going to try quitting smoking tomorrow, but things have been pretty hectic around the farm and the weather has sucked for quite a while. Haven't been able to get out of the house since early September. Vehicles broke down; just one working one left; others got too cold and brittle. Summer should be here in May; it'll finally be warm enough to go hitch-hiking and camping, so I'm going to shoot for getting clean and sober on April 20th instead because I've tried over and over to quit here at home, but I just can't. Every one in my house smokes some kind of substance and there's always alcohol available and I just can't wake up to that shit everyday while going through withdrawal; I can't quite here at home so figure April 20th will be a good opportunity to pack up a bug out bag, quit all substance, and get myself stuck so far out into the middle of bumfuck nowhere that I have NO CHOICE but to quit everything because I'll have new priorities that will keep me busy and which are far more important than numbing myself up. Plus that way if I feel the need to yell and scream, I can let it all out as loud as I want. Think I'll try making my way to that giant, ancient black pyramid buried under the ground that I heard about; between Nome and Mt. McKinley if I recall correctly. Heard some weird stories about it; could be a fun adventure and another thing to keep my mind off of using any substances again. We also have Bigfoot and UFO hotspots up here; we have a lot of weird stuff going on in the Alaska Triangle. Currently I'm at the tip of the Alaskan Triangle; pretty much everything south of me is the rest of the Triangle; weird sightings and TONS of missing persons, but there's no other way to get to the Lower 48 other than to go through it or fly over it, and I don't have the money for a plane ticket. Like the rest of the village, my family's pretty broke in the finances department. Might be more fun to do it on foot anyway though; bigger sense of accomplishment. Have my passport now too so going through Canada shouldn't be a problem. .....Thinking of heading to California instead of Utah. I have to find 158. 


--204

btw I love moon pigeons. Intresting how much supersticion that spawn around it. A lot like old superspicion explained a lot of phenomena science has figured out later. The pattern is that science has always disproved superspicion sooner or later.


The lesson there is to keep an open mind, and not lock your reality view on unscientific explanations of phenomena to make some sort of "order" in reality. Just as knowledge help you make good decisions with predictable consequenses, decision you base on superspicion have more random outcomes.

Indeed. Well said.

Getting back into Christianity again. Oddly enough it was sparked up again by a guy I saw who looked like Jesus on the flight down here. Our plane had to stop in Salt Lake City. That sucked. Had a couple panic attacks on the plane as it got closer and closer; was scared 204 was going to take over and take off for Provo. While running to our next gate I was passing a little coffee shop and saw some hippie dude that gave me a nod as I passed. Didn't think much of it at the time. Been thinking about him a lot though; trying to decipher what the nod meant. Coulda been just saying "hello" but there wasn't much facial expression and there was something weird about his eyes...like it was a nod of subtle understanding, or perhaps condoning. Then I started hearing Skillet songs like Hero and Monster; two of my all time faves haha, and prob the most famous ones; kept hearing them in little shops over the course of the next couple weeks, but also songs of theirs I hadn't heard before and noted how weird some of the lyrics were; almost religious. That's when I did some research and found out Skillet is technically a Christian Rock band lol. Never woulda guessed it by their two main songs. Eventually bought the albums "Awake", "Rise" and "Unleashed".....and I gotta say, it kinda creeped me out how it felt like they were speaking right to 204 lol. Lot of songs about rebellion, resistance, and "burning it down"...got me thinking. Jesus himself was technically an anti-establishment vigilante who took matters into his own hands for the greater good; he was violent and destructive at times, and people thought he was insane...but he changed the world. ...Still think about that hippie looking guy in the coffee shop in Salt Lake. In retrospect, he looked like the stereotypical iconic image of Jesus. Keep seeing the way he looked at me and gave me the subtlest of nods....anyway....yep; I know, sounds compl felt fucking BONKERS lol.

*Completely. Damn autocorrect.

Haha, nice! XD

Figured I'd start reading the Bible again on June 19th...kinda have a weird thing for numbers and dates. 

I can finish the whole thing in a year. Family is moving down here to Montana in a year or less because mom doesn't want to die in the arctic. 

Was planning on beginning my crusade this year...but I guess one more year of training wouldn't hurt. Folks need my help getting the house in Alaska all pretty and ready to sell.

Mom got a pretty big inheritance when gran died; gramps died in November...may he rest in pieces. Mom might've forgiven him for being such a monster...but I kinda have issues with forgiveness.

Might as well take the moment here to apologize for my disrespect towards Christians and Religion in general. Not apologizing to anyone in particular; Lord knows I've offended countless individuals with my anti-religious posts. I'm guessing it stemmed from my anger issues. I was practically a Jesus freak as a little kid, but lost my way in Utah. Felt angry at God a lot for not answering my prayers to save me; felt like God hated me at first, then over the years of horrors I witnessed I came to believe that there must not be any God; couldn't wrap my head around why a supposedly loving God would allow these sorts of things to happen to children. Then as I grew older I began to fear religion, partially from the fact my captors were uber-religious and tried to cram it down our throats by force, and then later, because I feared what religion could do to people; make them follow blind faith, and not try to solve their own problems, making the masses collectively weaker to the point of our ultimate self-destruction through ignorance...naturally of course, I allowed the fear to gestate into anger and eventually hatred of all things religious. 

It hadn't occurred to me in my later years that religion serves a genuine purpose, and a very useful one at that, of providing hope to the hopeless, and serving as a moral guide post in our times of fear and confusion when we feel lost and alone. It eventually occurred to me though, that I was a lot happier when I had Jesus in my life. Even if it was just a fun story not based in fact. As I got more into history though, I began discovering pieces of physical evidence which lent credence to the old biblical stories I learned as a child. Such as the evidence supporting the notion that in Earth's distant past, the entire surface of the planet was covered by water. Or the old versus which talked about Hell; it being a hot place within the earth, and that one day the whole of hell shall be cast into the Lake of Fire; the Lake being "visible for all to see". It didn't occur to me that Earth was the Hell they were referring to, and our Sun being the Lake of Fire; visible to all on the Earth. Scientifically speaking, our Sun is gradually pulling things towards it via its gravitational pull, and the surface of the sun looking like a literal lake of fire. One day, our world shall indeed be "cast into the lake of fire". Then the fact that given how long ago the Bible was written, primitive people's of those times likely wouldn't have any means of knowing or understanding these things unless they had advanced technology and the ability of flight, which as far as we know, they did not. Then in the Bible, it talks of beings ascending and descending into the sky, and descriptions of UFOs such as when the Israelites were led by a Pillar of Light by night, and by a Pillar of Fire during the day, on their way to the promised land. And sodom and gonorah, where can be find an ancient description of modernized nuclear warfare. Perhaps they were just aliens...but given the numerous other descriptions, such as of Heaven, I'm now leaning towards the idea that they were extradimensional beings from an alternative universe...one which perhaps is responsible for creating this universe....and us. 

I was a doubting Thomas like so many; unable to operate on faith alone, until I could see with my own eyes...then everything started making a lot more sense, and I've now been feeling more hopeful than I have in a really long time. But I still have a lot of work to do, particularly on my anger. 

....I guess the one I'm apologizing to the most is God Himself....because I understand better now why he allowed what happened to me to happen. And from here on out, I shall do my utmost to carry out the mission I was put on this earth to do according to the teachings of Jesus Christ...I wasn't to make Him happy, and repent for all the mistakes I've made, and the mistakes I will undoubtedly make in the future....with Him by my side though, I have a feeling that perhaps the future won't be as daunting as I fear....and the world won't seem quite as scary as it has always seemed for me.